Miscellaneous Any Other Stuff
If it's not been covered else where on the dashboard then you'll find it here.
Sensible Drinking Policy
Unlike supermarkets, who use cheap alcoholic drinks to entice customers into their store and then claim to subscribe to a sensible drinking policy, we don't wish to insult the intelligence of our customers... having brewed the beer in the first place, our aim is to sell as much of the stuff as possible and to any idiot who will buy it.
That said, we don't let our patrons quaff copious amounts of beer and not be capable of getting home. Our policy is to put them up for the night in the Brewer's bachelor pad above the Speedwell Inn, where they encounter The Brewers Friends (see below in the Dashboard). It's actually a far more effective deterrent to binge drinking than any thieving fiddling politician has ever come up with.
It's first for 15 years, Townes Brewery is embracing the second decade of this new millennium with a huge and historic period of investment. This £4,500 website by Saki & Saki and each and every one of its pubs will be having a brand new wood burning fireplace, breaking with the tradition that all of Townes pubs had the complete absence of any heating system. Scheduled to commence on Monday 31st January, 2011, it's anticipated to take several months to complete.
Graeme Brown the financial whiz kid of the main board issued this press release...
“We did consider going to the City to raise the capital needed, however, the current shareholders rallied round to our needs, giving us the prospect of real growth.”
Chairman John McCaig commented...
“The only growth you'll see around here is on Curly's chin.”
Townes Brewery welcomes CAMRA members into its pubs with open arms... as long as they're in two's. A married couple would be smashing, same sex couples are fine but CAMRA members in a group of more than two, no thank you.
All beards and sandals and that's just the women, they all swamp the bar each purchasing their own beer. After several Nudge Nudge Wink Wink moments over being Camra Pub Of The Month if they get free beer, they settle down to sip their half pint and make notes. They all claim to be experts and not one of them has drunk more than five half pints in the same session. Of course there are always exceptions and Rhoda ex-chair of the Chesterfield branch is one of them. Always a champion of Townes ales she also supplies the lads who frequent the Speedwell Inn with free viagra tablets.